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Feb 10
2011
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by guest blogger Deanna Cogdon Miller
Butterfly. Pop. It’s 9:45 at night and I’m standing in the kitchen making a few dozen cookies for my daughter’s class to decorate at daycare tomorrow. I’m acutely aware of the time and the fact that I’m meeting with one of our senior executives at work first thing in the morning and have not yet prepared for the meeting.
Star. Pop. I pause for a moment and glance down at my suit, realizing that I hadn’t had a chance to change. We had arrived home a little late and getting supper on the table was slow-going with a three year old who wanted to help and a one year old who wanted me to carry her while I chopped vegetables and cooked chicken for fajitas. After supper my husband handled bed and bath while I ran to the grocery store to get what I needed for tonight and the next few days.
Flower. Pop. I look around the room and am suddenly overcome with laughter. I have soup bubbling on the stove for a potluck at work tomorrow. The grocery bags are still sitting on the counter behind me full of the food that I didn’t need for the soup or the cookies. The supper dishes are on the table and pieces of chicken and shredded cheese from a three year old’s fajita construction are scattered on the floor. There’s a pile of clothes (including a dirty diaper) on the carpet in the living room from the 7pm dash to the bath and a sippy cup with no stopper in it leaking water under the high chair. The entire island in the kitchen is full of cookies either cooling or waiting their turn in the oven. My suit is absolutely covered in flour. To top it all off, my computer bag is staring at me from the corner - taunting me and reminding me that I should be preparing for tomorrow morning. It’s becoming increasingly clear that I’m going to have to step outside of my comfort zone and just ‘wing’ my 9:00am meeting.
Heart. Pop. I stir the soup, put another pan of cookies in the oven and sit down for a minute. This scene in my house has really made me start to think about how I’m juggling work and motherhood since returning from my most recent maternity leave. Am I the active and involved kind of mom that I want to be? I’ve always been very career focused and love what I do for a living – is my family getting enough of my attention?
Buzz. Cookies done. As I take the last batch out of the oven, I realize that my decision to bake vs prepare tonight is really the answer to all of my questions. I can wing the odd meeting here and there but I can’t wing letting my three year old help with supper, holding my one year old when she needs to be held, sitting down to supper with my family or baking cookies for daycare. When it comes right down to it, I’m always going to choose cookies over career and you know what, I couldn’t be happier with that decision.
Deanna lives in Dartmouth with her husband and three children. When she's not reading stories, dancing to ABBA or burping a baby, she works in communications for Bell Aliant and enjoys writing on the side.
