HRM Parent Blog

Are you a stressed out HRM mama or papa struggling to avoid that next cold that burns its way through your family?  Maybe you are doing everything to lose a few pounds but the scale won't budge?  

You may not know that proper stress management can be key to both successful weight loss and a strong immune system.  It is also integral to long-term health.  Most people have heard about the correlation between stress and weight gain or illness but have little understanding as the physiological connection.

In my experience, when my clients begin to understand what actually physically happens in their bodies in times of stress & poor eating, and how this leads to increased stress hormone levels and resulting damage, they are more motivated to both eliminate some of the unnecessary stress in their lives and find effective stress management tools for those inevitable stressors they cannot avoid.

Here are a few "stress facts":

-  What happens inside your body when you encounter stress, whether physical (i.e. an extreme workout), mental (i.e. challenging file at work) or emotional (i.e. grief), is exactly the same: It's an automatic reaction called the "fight or flight" response.

-  When our body's "fight or flight" response is triggered, all of our functions perceived essential to combating the stressful situation (such as heart rate, blood pressure, & eyesight) are sharpened, but those systems our body perceives to be "non-essential" in times of stress, such as digestion, shut down. Ever had that knot in your stomach & digestive distress on the day of a big presentation? Now you know why!

-  The stress response triggers the release of the hormones cortisol and adrenaline. If we deal with the stress effectively and subsequently re-enter a relaxed state, these hormone levels should rise and then lower. However, when we are chronically stressed, they stay elevated.

-  Chronically elevated cortisol levels are dangerous. They lead to increased belly fat, blood sugar imbalances, increased blood pressure, increased cholesterol, increased risk of heart attack and stroke and many other major chronic illnesses.

-  Processed "non-foods", with little or no nutritive value and which are high in refined sugars and additives, further contribute to increased cortisol levels.

-  Similarly, caffeine can elevate cortisol levels.

-  Stress also reduces vitamin B levels and contributes to inflammation. We need B vitamins to metabolize energy and keep our immune function up. Stressed out people often get sick and tired as a result.

Have I got you stressed out just thinking about all this?  

Here's the simple fix:  Focus on whole foods, specifically lots of veggies and fruits.  Restrict processed foods.  Manage your stress the best you can, by bringing yourself into a relaxed state through breathing, yoga, moderate exercise, or just venting to a friend.  Stop paying lip service to stress management & healthy eating and make some positive changes.  

It's worth it, isn't it?

Wendy McCallum, LLB, RHN, is passionate about providing busy parents with the tools & support they need to feed their families wholesome food, so everyone can play, learn, and feel better!  She is a mother of two terrific HRM kids, aged 7 &8.  For information and recipe ideas, visit her website.

by guest blogger, Deanna Cogdon Miller

"I want what I want and I'm going to get what I want." The words hit me like a ton of bricks as I looked across the counter at my five year old. With arms crossed and an angry look on her face she continued, "You know what else, I'm going to cry until you give it to me."

And so began our first major power struggle.

The night had started off like any other. We had come home from work to lots of hugs and three happy kids. We had supper and then she asked if she could play some games on the Disney Jr website (a recent discovery of ours). We said she could for a few minutes before it was time to start getting ready for bed. When bath time came, I let her know it was time to shut down and as I somewhat expected, she ignored my first request. She then ignored my second request and so my third was followed by a ‘please turn it off or mommy is going to turn it off for you.' Once again it was ignored and so I did what I think most parents would do - I shut it off.

The dramatic reaction that ensued could have won her an Oscar. You know how sometimes you can pick up other neighborhood baby monitor feeds through yours? I found myself thinking if anyone can hear this they are going to think I'm a horrible person as they listen to her screaming and crying and repeating phrases like ‘no mommy no' and ‘please stop mommy I promise I'll listen now'.

As my husband took the other two kids upstairs and I finished cleaning the kitchen, she sat herself on the stool across from me and made the statement I opened this post with. She sat there screaming and crying, refusing to move until I turned the computer back on. After about 20 minutes she picked up a pen and some paper and I thought we were going to have a breakthrough. She drew something and then slid it over to me - it was a picture of a sad face and a mad face, I asked her if this was how she was feeling and after she responded with a yes, I drew my own sad face and a happy face. I explained to her that I was sad about what was going on too and that I was looking forward to being happy together again. She calmed down for a minute and then in a quiet voice asked if she could play the games for a few more minutes before bedtime. I said no and the screaming began again. Ding! Round two.

By this time I needed to go upstairs and help get the other kids to bed. I told her I was heading up and that she could join us whenever she was ready. As I left the kitchen, she followed me and flopped on the floor at the base of the stairs screaming at me in a deep voice that sounded like something from a horror movie. I just kept walking. Ding! Round three.

She was not impressed that I calmly removed myself from the situation and true to her word, she cried through getting her pyjamas on, she cried through brushing her teeth and she cried big time when I explained that she had lost her stories for the night because this whole tantrum had taken all of her time. The whole ordeal lasted about ninety minutes before she eventually cried herself to sleep.

I have to admit that I hated that night. I hated seeing her so upset, I hated walking away from her when she was upset and I hated not having our usual stories and cuddles before bed. And as the inner me felt like it was crumbling, the outer me raised her arms in victory. Knockout. Match one goes to Mommy.

Deanna lives in Dartmouth with her husband and three children. When she's not reading stories, dancing to ABBA or burping a baby, she works in communications for Bell Aliant.

The market goes up and down and so does your stress level. Are you uncomfortable with your investments or confident their value will be there when you need it? Investing for the future and the future of your family can be tricky. There are so many things to consider, including how much investment risk - the potential for your portfolio to decline in value over the short term - you're comfortable with.  

To help you get a solid read on what's right for you, here are some tips for separating facts from feeling to create a comfortable portfolio that works.

Take your time to make the right decisions based on your personal risk level  Carefully assess the investments from which your portfolio will be constructed. If you are uncomfortable with risk, focus on capital preservation and income generation in a portfolio comprised mainly of the more stable fixed-income type investments. As your capacity for risk increases, add equities for a potentially higher rate of return and potentially higher volatility.

Determine your personal capacity for investment risk

Ask yourself fact-based questions like this:
What is my investment timeframe? If it's less than four years, don't invest in
higher risk assets. If you have an investment horizon beyond ten years, experts believe that you should invest in a more aggressive portfolio because historical trends show that, over the long term, you will benefit from a higher rate of return with ample time to recover from short-term volatility.

 
Ask yourself feeling-based questions like this:
Can I sleep soundly at night?  Regardless of your investment horizon, the way
you feel in the short term when the markets go through a severe decline will not change.  Feeling-based questions should serve as a tool to prepare you for what you should expect and focus your logic and emotions to identify a consistent pattern of how you perceive investment risk and what you are realistically capable of withstanding.
 
The biggest mistake investors make is to overstate their comfort level with risk because that often leads to abandoning their investment strategy at the first sign of volatility.  When you choose the right strategy from the start and stick with it, you will be rewarded over the long term.  

Of course, you should revisit your portfolio and investment strategy as conditions and your financial and life goals change to keep it in tune with you.
 
With so many different types of investment products, different asset classes, different industries and countries, determining the right strategy can be daunting.  Get help from your professional advisor and ask them if they can provide you with an investment questionnaire, which is a great tool for identifying your personal risk level and creating a framework for constructing a sound, well-diversified strategy for you.

Call us to find out more about how The Plan™ can help you prosper now… and over time.  Investors Group – Halifax, NS. (902) 423-8294.  www.investorsgrouphalifax.com 

by guest blogger, Katherine VanBuskirk

Screen time.

I love TV. It is my guilty pleasure. After my day. After the baths and the stories and the negotiations about bed times. After all of that is done, I make my way to the family room. I sink into my spot and I shut down for an hour or so.

Sure I love to read and write and browse online. But TV, for me, is a comfort. Gilligan and Cindy Brady and Alex P. Keaton. Those characters shine. I even remember vividly the day we got cable. I waited at the end of our driveway for fear that the cable guy would miss the house.

And for better or worse I’ve passed this love on to my kids. G, eight, wasn’t always a screen guy. He wasn’t interested in Baby Einstein or Caillou when he was really little and then preferred playing with Backyardigan action figures to watching the show. To this day he can take or leave video and computer games also.

His sister is three and a little more interested in TV, though I fear she’s vaulted over some of the more age appropriate shows and can be found sometimes watching Ben 10 or iCarly with her brother.

“Screen time” isn’t really a problem at our house though. Yet.

We’re busy. By the time we get home each day, eat, have baths and read, there is little time for TV or computer. Weekends are more of the same. It hasn’t really come to setting a time limit. Sometimes, there is a lot, but most of the time it’s scarce by necessity.

I met someone recently who boasted that her son hadn’t watched anything but age appropriate movies his entire life. No TV. It worked. I was impressed. But part me also wondered what he’d missed.

Don’t get me wrong. I appreciate that there is boatloads of crap on TV these days - especially for kids. I am sure that my little guy watches his fair share. And let’s just say that some of my favourite shows may have been referred to as trash.

 
It’s just that some of my fondest memories growing up are of watching programs with my brother and sisters, my Mom and Dad in the next room, not far away. I see G enjoying the same thing. He loves for us to watch together. We talk about his shows, joke about the characters. I know for sure that he’ll remember these times for the rest of his life.

And maybe I’m exposing myself to criticism here, but TV brings our family together more than it separates us. Though it’s my escape at the end of a day, most of time, we watch together.

And on nights like tonight when G goes to bed early so he can read his book, skipping his allowed TV time, I know that maybe it isn’t perfect and maybe less time and fewer shows would be better, but my kid gets it.

He’s choosing an activity that is right for him in that moment. Of course, I’ll continue to fret over how much sugar he’s allowed, why he and his friends love the violent play so much and his refusal to cut fingernails, but I think we’re okay with the screen time. For now.

Katherine VanBuskirk is a communications professional in Halifax. She is rarely without a latte, a list and at least one of her two children.

It’s been almost a month since Christmas day, and I bet there are a few of you out there who are still trying to figure out what to do with all the new Christmas loot; all the extra dolls and trucks, art and craft supplies.  Maybe it has all made its way to the playroom, but you’re spending way too much time picking it up off the floor too often, all while wishing that your child could find a place to put their things and keep them tidy.  Sound like a familiar situation?  It’s a common one, and one that is on the list of most of my clients who are parents.   Here are some tips and solutions to get you on your way to building an organized home and teach your kids independence and responsibility at the same time.

1. This is the perfect time of year to teach your child about empathy and the importance of helping others.  Every year after Christmas and birthdays, I give my kids each a basket and have them go through their toys and fill it with things they don’t play with anymore and are still in good enough condition for another child to love.  They’re learning a wonderful lesson, and the bonus is that your house will remain uncluttered.

2. Implement systems that your child can maintain.  Don’t put their favourite games on the highest shelf that they can’t reach, or organize so precisely that they can’t figure out how to do it again (I admit that I’ve done this in the past – luckily my husband pointed it out!)  – i.e. Alphabetising books for a 3 year old – as long as she’s putting them on the shelf – you’re winning, no matter what order they’re in.

3. Use all the available space.  Space is invaluable in a child’s room.  Use the space under the bed.  Put boxes filled with toys on rollers and tuck them under the bed for all the function of a toy box without giving up the space.

4. LABEL IT – I love to label things!  It’s so easy to keep a system going if it’s clear to everyone at the beginning where things belong.  Make sure to use words AND pictures, so even the tiniest tots can feel proud of their great tidying up work. 

5. Organize up.  If you don’t have a ton of space, use your vertical space.  It can be as simple as a bookshelf with baskets, or a pegboard on the wall to hang small bins and jars.  Use all the space you have to keep your room clutter free.

6. A child’s bedroom closet is not just for clothes.  Closet organizers are especially great for a child’s bedroom (or any other room really).  Many bedroom closets have 2 swing doors.  Why not store all of their craft & art supplies on the back of the door with a shoe organizer like this one?  It has clear pouches so your child can see exactly what’s inside and it keeps everything in its own neat compartment; store scissors, glue, pencil crayons, markers, beads, pipe cleaners, etc.  Hang it the inside of the closet door and then everything can be tucked away out of sight.  A hanging closet organizer like this one is great for dolls and stuffies.  They all get a buddy or two to share a cubby with and all the dolls are tucked away and off the floor.

7. Make it portable.  This is key if you want to keep all of your child’s toys and belongings in their bedroom or playroom... but they love to hang out in the kitchen with you and draw while you cook supper.  Give them a basket with all their supplies so that they can bring it to another room for a short time and then put it away again when they’re finished.  Just make sure that it’s small enough for them to carry easily on their own.

8. Use whimsical storage containers.  Use cookie jars and old fashioned candy jars on the kitchen counter for crayons and art supplies.  If your kids are anything like mine, they want to do crafts all day long.  It’s great that they are so creative, but there can be constant clutter.  This is a super cute way to keep everything organized and accessible.

Remember when you’re finding solutions, don’t forget to ask the kids what they think.  If they’ve been involved in the planning, they’ll be more excited to carry it on, and hopefully pick up their own toys tomorrow, and all the days after!  Happy organizing!

Wendy Monaghan, Interior Decorator and owner of Link Interiors, creates homes where life and style co-exist with flare.   She believes that a functional space allows families to have more quality time together and that children and all of their stuff can live in a beautiful home.  She is the mother of 2 fabulous HRM girls, aged 7 & 4.  For more information or to contact Wendy, visit her website, www.linkinteriors.ca

* photos of crayon jar and under bed storage from, designer Holly Mathis